JANUARY

"man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore"
1/23/12

donʻt hold on to formerly good things for too long. letting go and moving on can open doors you never even thought existed - possibly new loves as well.

have the courage to say goodbye. know when itʻs time to move on and time to let go. be honest about whatʻs working and whatʻs not. donʻt stay because youʻre afraid of never finding something better. be ok walking away...

who knows, it may be the best decision you ever make.

I wish you were more of an asshole
1/19/12

believe it or not, that was actually a compliment. to be fair, the entire sentence was "I wish you were more of an asshole so he would know how cool you are" [thank you?] it was followed by a deep conversation about infatuation and why we tend to fall for the people we know the least. the truth is, we don't usually get to see the "bad" parts of new people because we don't hang out with them all the time. ultimately it's harder to find someone's flaws in the beginning of a relationship - or friendship for that matter. of course we're going to like the people we only get to experience in small doses! we only get to see the good bits!

so all this talk about love and relationships got me thinking. how do we know when it's time to stop looking? how do we know when we've found "the one"? you don't. you'll never know for sure. you just let things happen and see where the cards fall. chances are the universe will let you know at some point when it's time to let go, give up, walk away, or move on.

so much of what we feel can't be explained. it just is. and that's the most beautiful thing of all! when you let yourself feel, you truly begin to live.

expect the best, and hope the worst never finds you
1/28/11

love and relationships come in many different shapes and sizes, and it's not necessarily the one you recognize (or may want).

in my experience it's good to prep for the unexpected - the stuff that leaves you thinking "holy crap! what the hell just happened?"

you cannot predict when or where these crappy moments will occur (and believe me, they will occur), but it's okay - the sooner you realize that life has its up and downs, the better off you'll be. love doesn't work out simply because we want it to - there's always the chance that it won't work - and always the chance that it will. but it's best to be prepared for both.

because who knows! maybe the person you met on the bus this morning is your soulmate, or maybe you winning the lotto isn't such a ridiculous idea after all. the point is, for every pipe dream you create, you have to be willing to accept the fact that things may (and quite possibly will) turn out differently...

...but that doesn't mean you have to stop believing.

personally, I like to believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast :)

if enlightenment is not where you are standing, where will you look?
1/17/11

right after moving to hawaii, a good friend of mine wrote me an email. in it, she offered some advice that helped me make sense of what at the time, was a very precarious situation. I saved the email to my computer and titled it "read me." every now and again I open her email to help put things back into perspective.

so, if and when you ever start to question the way of the world (particularly the love and relationship parts), just read this...

in life there are no guarantees. that being said, love and relationships can end for a variety of reasons. we can’t predict when things will end, or how we will feel, but we can choose to accept life for what it is – beautifully unpredictable.

accept the flaws. "people always fall in love with the most perfect aspects of each other. who wouldn’t? anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. but that’s not the clever trick. the really clever trick is this: can you accept the flaws? can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that’ because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you."

love everyone (even the ones who hurt you). "as painfully as those experiences may have turned out in the end, I would hate to see someone go through an entire lifetime never knowing what it feels like to morph euphorically into another person’s being." the freedom to love, regardless of who that is, is far more gratifying than a lifetime of resentment and anger.

happiness is not exactly scientifically quantifiable. nothing is! but you are somewhat in control of what happens within and around your relationships. of course, there’s no formula for what makes a happy relationship, but if you stay true to yourself and build the life that you want, you’ll likely end up with something pretty close to perfect.

be your own everything. "like porcupines out on a cold winter night...find a comfortable distance between entanglement and freezing. it’s ridiculous to think that someone else should magically be able to keep every part of our emotional being warm at the same time. starting today, I refuse to burden someone with the tremendous responsibility of somehow completing me. i’m starting to finally see where I end and where somebody else begins."

daddy, as difficult as today may seem and as much as we way wish things were different, EVERYTHING can change tomorrow. I guess all we have to do is wait.

malama o manoa
1/27/11

manoa greets me every morning, and I can't help but smile :)

mahalo nui loa manoa

affirmations
1/28/10

"i choose to think positive thoughts." "i am healthy, i am strong." "i am surrounded by positive energy." "i believe in me."

just like the books we read, affirmations have tremendous power over the way we think and our lives. if we want to make positive changes in our life, it is important to have positive beliefs about ourselves.

keep repeating these and your thoughts will become your reality. believe in you.